Sen. Larry Craig: A Lesson In Stupidity

By now we have all heard the news of Sen. Larry Craig’s (R-ID) questionable actions in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport bathroom, and regardless of whether Sen. Craig was actually trying to show his Mr. Potato Head to the officer, the man should be removed from office because he just doesn’t get it.

As a veteran member of Congress, you would think that Sen. Craig would have been capable of demonstrating a certain level of competency as the situation unfolded. But if anything, Sen. Craig’s actions following his arrest have risen to nothing short of painfully stupid.

Let’s rehash the situation. According to the police report, following his arrest, Mr. Craig was taken to the police operations center at the airport. Because he didn’t have his driver’s license on his person, he showed the officer his business card and pompously stated, “‘What do you think about that?’” This was not a very wise move but it was certainly one that he could have recovered from. Lesson #1: Immediately following your arrest, regardless of your social stature, don’t try to intimidate law enforcement because you will only inflame the situation.

Next, without counsel, Sen. Craig agreed to a post-Miranda interview. During this interview, Sen. Craig stated that “his foot may have touched” the officer, and that he had “reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper on the floor.” Honestly Senator Craig, are you that incompetent? Have you not seen Law & Order within the past century? All you did during that interview was further incriminate yourself, because it appears that you might have lied to the officer, as his report specifically stated that there was no piece of paper on the floor. Congratulations, your credibility is now at zero. Lesson #2: You have the right to remain silent; giving up that right will only hasten your demise.

Earlier this month, Sen. Craig pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. Apparently, Sen. Craig entered his plea, because he wanted the situation “to go away.” Now I don’t know if Sen. Craig sought out legal counsel before he entered his plea, because if he didn’t he is an idiot. On the other hand, if Sen. Craig sought out legal counsel and they advised him to enter the guilty plea, they should be disbarred for stupidity. Look, Sen. Craig, did you really think this situation was not going to come to light given that every two bit Woodward and Bernstein with a liberal agenda monitors criminal records on a daily basis hoping for their next bring break? Honestly, Sen. Craig, if you didn’t, I am amazed that you have gotten this far in life. With regard to the legality of the alleged situation in question, I find myself in agreement with Ed Morrissey of Captain’s Quarters, although Sen. Craig’s actions are reprehensible, I don’t know that they actually constitute a crime, save a possible battery violation for touching the officer’s foot. Lesson #3: Under all circumstances, never plead guilty to a crime until you have sought out sufficient legal counsel and you are out of options.

Now let’s fast forward to this week’s news conference. Here, Sen. Craig had one final chance to set the record straight. Instead of engaging in damage control, he made the situation worse. First, he bellowed that “I am not gay” as if he were a Jehovah’s Witness delivering his testimony at a religious revival. Then he proceeded to lash out at his local newspaper, the Idaho Statesman, claiming the publication was partially responsible for his situation. Given these two statements, I can’t help but wonder who is running the senator’s press shop? Either Sen. Craig has the worst press shop on Capitol Hill or he blew off his press advisors. Regardless, his handling of the news conference was a lesson in political self-destruction. Lesson #4: Don’t feed into media frenzy and certainly don’t bash your hometown paper, because every good politician knows that you need to have an amicable relationship with hometown publications. They serve as a direct line to your constituents. You know, the people that actually vote for you and give you money?

Given that Senator’s Craig’s political career is all but finished, conservatives have to hope that all Republican members of Congress are listening. Repeat after me: Perception is everything in politics and the best way to damage your image is by being caught up in scandal. Even if Sen. Craig is able to clear his name, it doesn’t matter because he will always be perceived as being guilty. There is no coming back from this one. How do I know? Because I just saw it on television, heard it on the radio and read it in the paper.