Harry Reid: The "Other" Mormon

Dear Democrats:

Back in January, when former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney officially announced he was going to run for president, you, the liberal left, huddled together in the backrooms of your Marxist coffeehouses and vowed to make sure he would never ascend to the oval office.

With 15 months until the 2008 presidential election, you should all pat yourselves on the back, because it appears as though your wish is going to come true – Romney will not only not become the nation’s next president, but it is more than likely that he won’t receive the Republican nomination either. Frankly by the time you are done putting the final touches on Romney’s demise, he will be lucky to win election as dog catcher in Mormon-friendly Belmont, Mass.

So how did you do it? Simple…By strictly adhering to the doctrine of liberal close-mindedness, you painted Mormonism and the Latter Day Saints as being a cult which fuses elements of HBO’s Big Love with the radical fanaticism displayed by the followers of Jim Jones. Disregarding the inaccuracy of this ludicrous depiction, you never even gave the man a chance.

So what is it exactly that you missed about Romney before you sent him to the political guillotine? A lot, beginning with the fact that Romney co-founded Bain Capital, a highly successful private equity firm. This accomplishment alone makes him an excellent candidate to be president given that, at the end of the day, whether we sit on the right or left side of the political aisle, we care first and foremost about the economic status of this country. In fact, Romney may well be one of the most successful businessmen to have ever seriously sought out the presidency.

Additionally, among all the males and she-males presently seeking the presidency, Romney possesses the most extensive executive experience. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be a Republican governor in a communist, union-driven fiefdom like Massachusetts? Of course you don’t, but let’s just say that being a Republican in Massachusetts is a pride swallowing experience that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. The mere fact that Romney got anything at all accomplished as governor speaks well of his potential as a chief executive.

So why do I find your hatchet job on Romney to be so ironic? Because the joke is really on you, the liberal left. While insinuating that a Romney presidency might mean that the United States would resemble Big Love’s Juniper Creek, you failed to recognize that your faithful leader in the Senate, Harry Reid, subscribes to the same faith as Romney.

So why hasn’t this tidbit of information been brought to the attention of the atheists, gays and pro-choice activists you so ardently defend? The answer is simple and one that even the punch-drunk Larry Holmes could figure out. You don’t want them to know that control of the Senate in 2008 rests on the shoulders of a religious zealot who allegedly doubles as a crook back in Nevada.

For those of you on the liberal left who think corruption is something that only befalls those on the right, think again. Last I heard, purchasing property in Nevada from Reid was about as lucrative as trying to buy oceanfront property in Arizona. Enough with the scandal, let’s quickly review how your new majority leader has done thus far.

It has been a productive seven months for Reid in his new leadership position, hasn’t it? First, he tried to sell Republicans on a comprehensive security bill that was embedded with a provision that would allow TSA screeners to unionize. That failed because Reid learned what the threat of executive veto actually means. Hey Harry, wouldn’t permitting TSA screeners to unionize present a major problem if a lockout occurred during a national emergency?

Next, Reid tried to pass an immigration bill that wouldn’t have stopped anyone at the border, let alone Juan and his 12 to 20 million cousins and drug-smuggling cronies. This bill was so filled with loopholes that it permitted illegals to purchase their citizenship for a few thousand dollars a head. Good one Harry.

But Reid’s finest moment came this past week, when he tried to engage Senate Republicans in a game of Texas arm-twisting over the Iraq War by holding an all night sleep over in the Senate chamber. Boy, that turned out well when Senate Republicans called his bluff. Maybe Reid should have gone to Harvard Law like Romney, because if he had, maybe he would have had a better understanding of what the word cloture really means. Thanks to Reid’s recent actions, the Republicans might actually have a shot at retaking the Senate in 2008.

Kind Regards,

The Ruminator

A Plea For Sanity In Minnesotta

Dear Minnesota Voters:

Before a full push is made by you to displace Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.) in favor of clownish, narrow-minded comedian Al Franken, I beg you, the inhabitants of the “Gopher State,” to come to your senses before it is too late.

In the past, you have shown an alarming propensity to elect political “nut-jobs” to represent you (e.g., Paul Wellstone, Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Keith Ellison: “The Ayatollah of Minnesota”). Before you make yet another tragic blunder, I most humbly suggest that you take a quick look at Al Franken and at those who presently back his candidacy.

Born in New York City and an alumnus of Harvard, Franken started his comedy career as a writer on Saturday Night Live…that is where the good in Al Franken candidacy ceases, and the bad begins…

Franken has never worked in or around government, other than as a personality on the now bankrupt and all too liberal “Air America” radio network. To be fair to Al – he has shown initiative in his drive to be your senator – he has set up his own political action committee called “Midwest Values PAC.” Franken best displayed his version of Midwest Values when he attacked a heckler of former governor Howard Dean (D-VT) during the 2004 presidential election. After the incident Franken, a Dean supporter, allegedly claimed that he was protecting Dean’s right to free speech. Looking back on the incident, I am more inclined to believe that Franken was trying to silence the heckler so that the audience wouldn’t run for their lives when they realized that Dean was a bigger disaster than Marion Barry at an all-you-can-smoke crack house.

The list of individuals backing Franken is, well, less than savory. According to the Associated Press, it presently consists of your usual cast of Hollywood nitwits, communists and obnoxious individuals who have opinions on things that they can’t possibly comprehend, unless of course they had been kidnapped and tortured by terrorists. As it stands, Franken contributors include: Rosie O’Donnell, Bill Maher, Larry David and former Health and Human Services Secretary Donna Shalala.

Given all of this, if you do indeed decide to still elect Franken to the U.S. Senate, I suggest you also elect “Larry the Cable Guy” as your governor, this way someone of the same level of intellect will be able to keep this troupe of jokers and their moronic fodder in check, or at least on the same cartoon page. BUT given your previous reckless disregard for common sense, I do fear that Franken will be representing you in the not-so-distant future. Therefore, I beg you, the residents of Minnesota, to immediately change the catch phrase on your state’s license plates from the “Land of 10,000 Lakes” to the “Land of 10,000 Idiots.” This way, you will be thoughtfully providing the rest of the nation a disclaimer on your political views and won’t drag it into the depths of hell as you have so irrationally done for yourselves.

Yours Truly,

The Ruminator

The "Ayatollah of Minnesota"

As I was combing the Internet for the latest installments of filthy liberal garbage, I came across the recent musings of the “Ayatollah of Minnesota.”

For those of you who don’t know or in case you have been under a rock since that dirty wench Nancy Pelosi took over as Speaker of the House, you might have missed the fact that our wonderful friends from Minnesota have been so kind as to elect the first-known Muslim to the U.S. Congress. Frankly the actions of the Minnesota voting electorate should not come as a shock when you take into account that this is the same state that brought us the ever-so-forgettable Walter Mondale. That being said, folks meet Representative Keith Maurice Ellison (D-Minn.).

Having received his Bachelor of Arts from Wayne State University and his Juris Doctor from the University of Minnesota, it is believed that Representative Ellison, 43, converted to Islam during his youth. Now here is the kicker…Representative Ellison is not just any Muslim but a former adherent of the ever-so selective “Nation of Islam.” Now I don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes, but a story-line such as this where a bright young black man renounces his Catholic faith in favor of a less than reputable sect of Islam should raise of red flag, unless of course you don't have a pulse.

In fact Ellison’s recent statements concerning President George W. Bush confirm that he is nothing more than a quack bent on currying favor with an electorate that clearly needs a well-grounded shepherd rather than a profit. The idea of equating Bush to Hitler is ridiculous because if Bush were in any way analogous to Hitler, Ellison wouldn't have a pulpit from which to spew this garbage from because he would be dead, or at the very least permanently silenced. So in the future Keith do the rest of us a favor and try to be a little more "Minnesota Nice" and think before you speak.