A Plea For Sanity In Minnesotta

Dear Minnesota Voters:

Before a full push is made by you to displace Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.) in favor of clownish, narrow-minded comedian Al Franken, I beg you, the inhabitants of the “Gopher State,” to come to your senses before it is too late.

In the past, you have shown an alarming propensity to elect political “nut-jobs” to represent you (e.g., Paul Wellstone, Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Keith Ellison: “The Ayatollah of Minnesota”). Before you make yet another tragic blunder, I most humbly suggest that you take a quick look at Al Franken and at those who presently back his candidacy.

Born in New York City and an alumnus of Harvard, Franken started his comedy career as a writer on Saturday Night Live…that is where the good in Al Franken candidacy ceases, and the bad begins…

Franken has never worked in or around government, other than as a personality on the now bankrupt and all too liberal “Air America” radio network. To be fair to Al – he has shown initiative in his drive to be your senator – he has set up his own political action committee called “Midwest Values PAC.” Franken best displayed his version of Midwest Values when he attacked a heckler of former governor Howard Dean (D-VT) during the 2004 presidential election. After the incident Franken, a Dean supporter, allegedly claimed that he was protecting Dean’s right to free speech. Looking back on the incident, I am more inclined to believe that Franken was trying to silence the heckler so that the audience wouldn’t run for their lives when they realized that Dean was a bigger disaster than Marion Barry at an all-you-can-smoke crack house.

The list of individuals backing Franken is, well, less than savory. According to the Associated Press, it presently consists of your usual cast of Hollywood nitwits, communists and obnoxious individuals who have opinions on things that they can’t possibly comprehend, unless of course they had been kidnapped and tortured by terrorists. As it stands, Franken contributors include: Rosie O’Donnell, Bill Maher, Larry David and former Health and Human Services Secretary Donna Shalala.

Given all of this, if you do indeed decide to still elect Franken to the U.S. Senate, I suggest you also elect “Larry the Cable Guy” as your governor, this way someone of the same level of intellect will be able to keep this troupe of jokers and their moronic fodder in check, or at least on the same cartoon page. BUT given your previous reckless disregard for common sense, I do fear that Franken will be representing you in the not-so-distant future. Therefore, I beg you, the residents of Minnesota, to immediately change the catch phrase on your state’s license plates from the “Land of 10,000 Lakes” to the “Land of 10,000 Idiots.” This way, you will be thoughtfully providing the rest of the nation a disclaimer on your political views and won’t drag it into the depths of hell as you have so irrationally done for yourselves.

Yours Truly,

The Ruminator